How Dare you: A letter to my Swiss Transgressors

Dear Switzerland,

I recently visited your country on a trip through central Europe.  I was blown away by the beauty of your mountains and cities…

Especially Davos, where I had decided to stay…

I was so excited to visit you and hit the slopes.  In fact, you were the one thing I could hold above my brother as he spent every weekend snowboarding on his new board last winter.

But my trip has been tainted…and I’d like to tell you how…

Alps: HOW DARE YOU!  Why would you have uphill sections on downhill slopes?  Must you make it difficult for someone who has not learned how to go fast enough to get up these hills so that she is forced to unstrap her board, carry it up the hill, and attempt to fasten it once again, after having reached the top? And HOW DARE YOU be real mountains with real snow, not man made.  Do you know what that makes for?  Patches of snow where your board gets buried up to your knees and you have to dig to get it out.  And HOW DARE YOU not have such things as bunny slopes.  Ever.  I get it, you’re big tall mountains.  Surely somewhere on you there has to be an easy slope for beginners.

Swiss Boarders and Skiers: HOW DARE YOU!  Yes I know I am not as good as you.  Yes I know I could probably use a couple more lessons.  But some of us were not born with a board strapped to our feet.  And only having been two other times makes it difficult to maneuver.  Should you need more clarification, see the letter above to the mountains themselves.

Four year olds: HOW DARE YOU embarrass me by being so much better than I am and then pouring salt on the wound by spraying me with snow as you wiz past.

Red snow pants: how dare you be too big that you 1. Are so incredibly unflattering that you me look like I have a balloon butt, and 2. Allow so much snow in, I wonder why I even bothered wearing long underwear.

Swiss Economy: HOW DARE YOU think that just because you are doing way better than the majority of the world, you can get off by charging the equivalent of $10 for a cup of coffee.  Or $10 for a bottle of water (and not having tap available). But then you only charge $7 for a mug of beer.  You realize that leads to me drinking just because I’m trying to save money? 

Swiss Chocolate: HOW DARE YOU be SOO expensive (see above economy grievances).  You cost more in your native country than you do imported in the states.  Even your bargain chocolate is more than I’d pay.  But more importantly, HOW DARE YOU be so delicious that I have to buy you anyway…

Swiss TV: HOW DARE YOU dub everything you show on TV.  Due to your Arian German, “I Know What You did Last Summer” is no longer scary, Apu is no longer hilariously stereotypical, and no matter how hard you try, Ice Cube is not and will never be ghetto.

Sleds: HOW DARE YOU be so fun that despite the moments of actually thinking I’m going to die, witnessing people crash, and crashing myself, I continue to ride down three miles of track over and over again…

Christmas Vacation: How dare you make this…

Look like a joke.  It is no joke.  When you take some wood, screw some medal on the bottom, it’s true that your only hope of stopping is to crash into someone or something.  When you witness someone break his nose after flying over a hill, there must be some truth to it.

Butt, Shins, Knees, Quads, and Shoulders: HOW DARE YOU hurt so incredibly much. I’m now going to lie in bed all day unable to move thanks to a jacked up knee, sore muscles, and an entire shin that is black and blue.

Alright, despite the above-mentioned complaints, I would like to say that I had an absolute blast visiting you.  And though it will be a while (and a couple thousand dollars later) that we meet again, I look forward to it. I hope you have considered my suggestions, and will make some changes accordingly.  Also, if you’d like to send me some free chocolate as reimbursement, I would not be offended.

Thank you, and sincerely (and sorely) yours,

Libby

Word of the Day: beschwerde - complaint (Swiss German)

Chocolate, labels, and a whole lotta money

Well as I said before, I took a night train to Zurich.  The night train was…an experience.  First of all, you attempt to find a cabin without anyone in it.  Once you find one, you relish in having a place to sleep for the next eight hours…

Then two other people come into the cabin.  Fortunately you’re able to sneak two chairs to form some sort of bed, but then the other two get the same idea.  Problem is, they toss and turn, forcing them to make contact with you while you sleep which just creeps you out!!!  Ain’t no one gonna be cuddling their butt up next to me on some train.
You’re then constantly being woken up after each stop by the conductor checking your tickets.  You could just leave you EuRail and passport on the door…but really?  I don’t really feel safe with that one.
And finally you arrive at Zurich Central Station after a non-fulfilling night’s sleep, eager for a potty break, and early enough for nothing to be open, save an “American” bagel shop (not even Noah’s) charging six bucks for a bagel with cream cheese.

Then you have to find a locker that will store your huge backpack that has been your life supply for the last week.  After finding one, you realize you need Swiss Francs in order to store anything so you go to change your money only to be given bills, not coins, forcing you to the buy above-mentioned bagel in the hopes of getting change.  Of course you spend all above-mentioned change on above-mentioned locker leaving nothing left to pay for the above-mentioned much-needed potty break in the only bathroom that’s open.

Ok, I’m done talking in the second person.  That was my night/morning to/in Zurich.  It was quite the experience I suppose.  Once I finally got situated, I wandered out onto the Bahnhofstrase…basically the 5th avenue of Switzerland.  As stores were just beginning to open, it was practically empty...

So I wandered down to the farmers market getting some fresh Swiss bread and cheese for breakfast, and sat down on the river’s edge enjoying the people and boats passing by.

Once I was finished I wandered back up this street of labels.  Three years ago, Pat and I did this on New York’s Fifth Avenue.  We had Breakfast at Tiffany’s...

Got cocktails at Snaks at Saks...

 

 

And “stole” bags from all the major stores (ok we didn’t steal, but we asked for one without buying anything.)  It was very nostalgic.  Of course with no one there to enjoy it with me, I spent the time snapping pictures which I then had fun photoshopping on my computer…

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

I ventured into a little pastry shop that is hugely popular...

Inside they had chocolates galore, but what they’re famous for are these little puff pastry type things.  They’re like little meringue hamburgers filled with cream.  They have tons of different flavors, but since they were ridiculously expensive, I just got four to sample. But look at how they wrapped it up in a cute little box…

I chose champagne, Bailey's, cappuccino, and chocolate…

And all were so delicate, delectable, and delicious!!!

After my adventure with Swiss pastries, I journeyed off the beaten path onto the side streets.  I also had bought a day tram pass, so I just kept getting on the tram and getting off when I saw something interesting.  Then I took some pictures, walked a little, and got on whatever tram came next.  It was quite the system.  I came across some churches…

 

  

 

Some cute riverside buildings…

 

  

 

Some statues and fountains…

 

  

  

  

  

 

The opera (covered by construction)…

Some alleys…

 

  

  

 

And some people…

 

  

  

 

Of course with the people I had to take a couple shots so it looked like I wasn’t taking pictures of them…haha creeper!

And of course there was the Swiss bank…

Because what would the Swiss be, without a ton of money from other countries?  But you know what I realized, regardless of how much money you have, if you’re Swiss, you can tell people in America that you have a Swiss bank account…and that sounds impressive!!

Finally it was time to collect my luggage and hop back onto a train to Baden, where my fellow couch surfer, Seena, was picking me up to travel to Davos where we would be snowboarding together.  So I bid goodbye to the city of money, chocolate, and complete boujie-ness, and headed for the city of snow, more chocolate, and lots of muscle pain.  But that’s a story for tomorrow.

Word of the day: Geld - money (Swiss German)

There are no kangaroos in Austria

Well after my time in Prague, I headed over to Vienna.  And once again, I was blown away by the city.  Completely different from Prague and Berlin, the city was still as magnificent as the first two.  This time, I was actually couch surfing, not staying in a hostel, so when I arrived I headed over to my host Jasmin’s house, where I was greeted with a smile, Swiss coffee and chocolate, and musical theatre.  At this point, I should inform you that although living in Austria, Jasmin is Swiss.  She is also studying musical theatre.  See, now everything makes sense again.

Unfortunately there were no walking tours so it was up to me to wander around the city getting lost.  But getting lost in a good way.  Because I had been left a map, I had a 48-hour public transport card, and I knew I could somehow find my way back if I just got on enough trams. :-D  My first sight of Vienna was the capitol/congress building…

Gorgeous right?  I couldn’t get over it.  As I continued I made it to the Cathedral…

In front of here was a HUGE ice skating rink/track/fun fair thing going on.  It looked amazing, but unfortunately I didn’t have time to join.

Then I continued on to the theatre…

I also saw some other gorgeous buildings and statues…

 

  

  

  

 

And then the palace…

I mean this place is ginormous!  And gorgeous!  So absolutely beautiful!  I couldn’t get over it.  And there was a park, and lots of buildings, all a part of it.  I wandered around there for a good hour.  Unfortunately the museum containing the Crown Jewels and other cool things that they recommend you do while in Vienna was closed, so I had to find another museum to check out.

That’s whe I came across the Historical and Natural History museums….

 

 

They were across from each other and almost looked like mirror images.  Since I love natural history, I decided to visit that one.  It was also half as much as the historical museum.  But I think the best part was being inside such old and highly ornate buildings…

They had a whole exhibit on Darwin since it’s like the 200th birthday or something like that…

They also randomly have the actual shed where Ben Franklin discovered electricity.  I thought that should be in an American museum, but it's still a cool concept (even if the legend was partly busted on Mythbusters)…

And the original Venus…

Pat this one’s for you…

Oh and look it’s my favorite animal the Red Panda!!!

Of course the entire time I kept thinking about “Night at the Museum” and how cool this place would be at night when the entire upper floor (which was all animal/dinosaur displays) came to life…

 

 

Yes call me a nerd, but I’m pretty sure there’s another sequel in the making, so they should take a page outta this blog.

Across the street, you could also see the Heldenplatz – or Hero Square – the place of Hitler’s great (by great I mean huge, not awesome) speech welcoming Austria into the Third Reich.  There’s nothing really saying that around there…they're not too proud of it (for obvious reasons,) but I had done my research ahead of time so I knew...

 

 

After exploring the entire museum, I continued on to find the opera house…

Now the opera is EXTREMELY famous here.  As is Mozart…seriously…they love that guy I tell you.  There is an entire store dedicated to opera, Mozart, and all things to do with music.  Jasmin and I were going to try and see “Tosca” that night, But it was four hours before curtain and there was already a long line with a very small chance of us getting any tickets.  Which was really too bad.  But I was still able to buy postcards, a t-shirt, and take pictures as if I’d been there.

So since we were unable to go to the Opera, and since we’re both musical theatre nerds, we instead decided on a night of karaoke!  I was so excited because it has been too long. We made an event on couch surfing, so we were joined by a couple other people, which was nice. The place we went to was small, but full.  It was nice because we were able to sing a couple songs.  I busted out my usual “Cabaret” as well as “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette, a duet of the Moulin Rouge version of “Lady Marmalade,” and just to show off my rapping abilities, a little “Yea” by Usher…

So after a long night, we settled down, only to wake up in the morning for class.  I myself ventured over to Prater Park, the famous amusement park and Ferris Wheel.  It’s the one featured in that James Bond movie with the cello playing girl.  The only thing was, it was completely empty!  It looked like a deserted park.  Fortunately, I had my dad’s fancy camera, and I spent a good two hours snapping some artsy shots. I didn’t actually go on the Ferris Wheel though because it wouldn’t have been that fun by myself, plus it was like 10 euros.  But I still took pictures of it.  Here’s one of my favorites…

You can see the rest of them here.

After my trip to Prater, I headed back to my host’s house.  There we went and got the traditional wiener schnitzel and watched High Fidelity (as mentioned in the Top Ten Tuesday.)  But then it was time for me to catch a night train to Zurich.  And so I bid my host and this beautiful city farewell, hoping to return again.

Word of the Day: entwicklung - evolution (German)