The Luck of the Hollish

It's St. Patrick's Day!

Oh and before any new readers try and comment on my seemingly great lack of knowledge of the proper names of other cultures (mainly, calling the dutch Hollish), read this.
St. Patrick's Day I think might be the holiday closest to my heart.  I was brought home from the hospital on St. Patrick's Day (in a green diaper.)  And since it's so close to my birthday, the majority of celebrations have been in combination with it.  Which is why I always serve Guinness and Bailey's at my parties.  And I loved how the lepracauns used to "attack" our classrooms at school when we were little.  And how when we weren't looking, they turned the rice we were having for dinner green (which made Nina so scared, she actually cried.)  Also it's a chance to celebrate all the things which the Irish are famous for...

Well, they don't actually celebrate the holiday here.  In fact I'm pretty sure the entire country of Holland has no idea what a shamrock is, much less a holiday based on the luck of it.  I attempted to describe it to my family, but all I came up with was, "um I think he was a Saint.  And we celebrate him by wearing green and drinking..."
Ok so I celebrated by wearing green.  I also got Fien a pretty green necklace to wear, but that was the greenest thing I could find.  The entire country of Holland just doesn't do green.  It's weird.
Also no drinking was involved.  Which means no Guinness and no *sniff* Irish Car Bombs.  Ok I did have a Heineken while Mags and I practiced for next week's crazy "American Drinking Game" competition in Amsterdam.  Also known as Beer Pong to all you frat boys.  But I had my Dutch course, so a night of green beer and "Hi-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-DIE!!" was out of the question.  Ah well...there's always next year.

Word of the Day: beoir - beer (Gaeilge)

Birthday Blog!!

Yesterday was my birthday!!!
I know it's been a while since my last post, but I was busy...doing...birthday type things.  Don't worry, I'll be sure to let you all read about it.  Allow me to give you a sneak preview...

Anyway, it's Tuesday and you know what that means!  I feel like I should be posting something about my birthday, but I also feel like being random and mysterious, and since it is MY birthday and MY blog, I can do what I want!  So here is a little game for you...

TOP TEN THINGS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MY BIRTHDAY IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER

(but you're gonna have to figure it out)

 

Did you figure it out?  And just because I love this song...

Word of the Day: jarig - birthday

Are they Made with Real Girl Scouts?

It’s that time of the year...Girl Scout Cookie Time...

And I have none.

Girl Scouts is not big in the Netherlands. At all. I never see it. And they certainly don’t have cookies. Which is really too bad. And by too bad, I mean the most devastating piece of news I have discovered since arriving. I WANT COOKIES!!! SEND ME THEM! Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, Trefoils...Any and ALL!!
For eleven years I stood outside Albertson’s (or Lucky’s at one point), Safeways, banks, Walmarts, etc. peddling the goods that can only be described as the-most-delicious-things-on Earth-and-if-you-haven’t-broken-your-New-Year’s-diet-resolution-already-you-are-a-gonner-and-have-no-shot-of-making-it-till-April.
And then for four years after that I peddled for my sister. I look forward to being back in the states, having no one personally tied to me, and being able to buy a box from every troop I see. In fact the older, the more I’ll buy. Because when you don’t have the cute factor anymore, no one pays attention. And then you go home and cry and open up one of the boxes you didn’t sell and eat the whole thing.
Also if you have a good day, you go home and celebrate by opening up one of the boxes and eating the whole thing. Also if you’re having people over you open up one of the boxes and eat the whole thing (collectively of course.) Also if it’s a Tuesday (or any of the subsequent six days) you open up a box and eat all of them.
Ok so my point is, everyone loves Girl Scout cookies. Well you’d think. Because whenever I think that everyone loves them I think of this dialogue. Now keep in mind I was a bright eyed, ready to take on the world, third grader at the time, standing by myself in my little brown vest in front of Safeway eager to get enough boxes sold for the coveted “sweatshirt” (180 boxes.) And I was doing fairly well. My mom was very good about letting me do the talking and only helping with change verification and table display restocking. Then this little exchange happened…

Me: Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?
Woman: (walking out of store) I don’t have any cash.
Me: We take checks.
Woman: (continuing her walking) I don’t like chocolate.
Me: We have ones without chocolate.
Woman: I’m on a diet.
Me: We have new reduced fat ones this year.
Woman: I don’t--
My Mom: WHY DON’T YOU JUST SAY YOU DON’T EAT AND KEEP WALKING!?!?!?

True story. And she’s going to hate me for posting that.

Some more fond memories:
-My first taste of frozen Thin Mints…oh man.
-The discovery that I not only liked coconut, but when combined with caramel and chocolate, there’s an orgasm in your mouth.
-Lynee and I standing outside making up a song complete with dance creatively entitled “Would You Like to Buy Some Girl Scout Cookies”
-The invention of cell phones causing uninterested people to pretend to have conversations in order to avoid you, but then they rang while they were supposedly already on them.
-Loading up my wagon and walking around the neighborhood ringing doorbell after doorbell.
-Cookie conventions - like comic con but for even bigger nerds.
-The selling of nuts and the constant asking of “When do cookies come out?”
-Bringing a bag of about 15 boxes to school every day and selling out before lunch.
-Selling at UCI for my sister and becoming the most popular girl in the dorms for a month.

*Sigh * Oh to be in a country that sold cookies. Seriously…send me them.

Word of the day: koekjes – well gee, that’s a hard one…cookies.

Top Ten: Best Pictures

So remember how I was going to write about the Oscars?  Well I felt like a fraud seeing as I hadn't actually watched them.  I looked up the winners the next morning.  And then watched clips on youtube.  But normally I love watching them.  And now with all the performances...oh man, it's amazing.  But like I said, I hadn't actually watched them and thanks to late release or no release at all over here in Clog-town, I have not seen the majority of the movies and/or performances nominated this year.  So real quick here's what I thought:
-I love Sandra Bullock
-I love Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin
-I love Neil Patrick Harris
The end!
So I thought instead I'd focus on past movies and do a top ten (since it is Tuesday.)  Now, I could do a series of top tens just for movies nominated for best picture - best musical, best classic, best "who woulda thought that got a best picture nom", and etc., etc., etc. (Ode to King and I (1956) there)  But I can't.  Well I mean I can, it is my blog, but by the time I get to all of them, every week, people will no longer care what I'm saying about the Oscars that happened three months ago.  So anyway, I decided to do a general top ten of my Top Ten best picture nominees.  And that is HARD! So I required of myself several guidelines in order to narrow it down.
1. I had to think it was good.  This may seem like a no brainer.  But take Citizen Kane (1941) for instance.  Thank you for all the "rosebud" spoilers, because now I don't feel guilty about attempting to watch it three times and having turned it off from sheer boredom.
2. I had to limit the number of musicals.  And let me tell you...that was hard.  Sorry West Side Story (1961) and American in Paris (1951)...and about ten others.
3. I had to have seen it from start to finish all in one sitting (key words being "all in one sitting.")  And let's be honest...some I haven't and really I should have...but I haven't.  Sorry Titanic (1997).
4. I tried to limit it to one movie per year...but I failed at that one.
5. I had to enjoy watching it.  Yes some movies I think are good, but I wouldn't watch it over and over again.  Sorry Schindler's List (1993) - you're a great movie but you are depressing as all hell.
6. I tried to figure out why I liked it.  If it was because of a certain actor, then I tried to only to put one of their movies up there.  Sorry Streetcar Named Desire (1951) and Casablanca (1943).
and finally,
7. I had to go with my top ten movies.  Not whether or not they were necessarily deserving of Best Picture, or what AFI or IMDB says about them, they had to be mine.

Ok does all that make sense?  Good.  Because Now I present to you (and beware of spoilers)...

TOP TEN BEST PICTURE NOMINEES

(*winner that year)

Gone with the Wind (1939)*

This movie is so beautiful.  The costumes, the cinematography, the music.  All of it.  Plus it makes me cry...a lot. And any movie that can make me actually want to be a woman forcefully carried up the stairs by her husband is doing something different.

The Maltese Falcon (1941)

The mystery in this movie is so great.  And Humphrey Bogart's speech at the end may be one of the best monologues I've ever seen done.  Plus when I did a play, one of my friends had to deliver that monologue.  So it also has a special place in my heart.

Sunset Blvd. (1950)

Damn that woman is CRAZY.  And I love her for it.

On the Waterfront (1954)

Marlon Brando wins my heart in this one.  And damn is he sexy.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

Probably one of my favorite childhood movies.  I used to dance around in my undershirt and bloomers in the hopes that five other women would appear and we could sing "June Bride."

(Sorry no clip of that song available!)

 

Mary Poppins (1964)

Fun fact - Although it lost to My Fair Lady, Julie Andrews beat out Audrey Hepburn for Best Actress.  This was after having originated the Broadway role of Eliza Doolittle, but then being replaced by Hepburn for the movie because they wanted a "star."  I guess she showed them.

The Godfather (1972)*

I remember watching this movie when I was younger and not understanding it. But there was something about it.  When I watched it again later, I understood it, yet  still can't tell you what it is that draws me to it.  It is just a good movie.  It "pulls me back in." (ok wrong part of the trilogy, but still)

Cabaret (1972)

I mean come on...Liza Minelli, Joel Grey, probably one of my favorite musicals of all time...this one's just obvious.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)*

Jack Nicholson, Christpher Lloyd, and Danny Devito young are weird enough...add some more crazy people, a really good plot line, an amazing villain, and you've got a recipe for mind-blowing.

Frost/Nixon (2008)

Because the play is amazing.  And the movie is just as good.  And because Frank Langella also did it on Broadway.  And when I saw him in Dave I thought he should play Nixon one day.  Seriously.

And just for fun...

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

What are your favorites?

Word of the day: toekenning - award

The Happiest Place in Holland

Ok since I was too tired to write when I got home on Sunday, I am now in a pickle.  Do I write about the Oscars (of which I didn’t see, but thank you youtube) or Efteling, an amusement park I went to yesterday.  I was going to write about the Oscars because it’s topical, but then a friend at home told me via facebook status that I needed to post about Efteling.  And I don’t like to disappoint.  So Oscars - another day.  Or maybe not.  Except I have a really cute video I want to share.  So probably Wednesday.  And now (and you can all thank Tracy)…

Efteling!

Efteling is the Dutch version of Disneyland.  We got to go for Suzan’s work.  The park wasn’t yet open for the season, because unlike Disneyland, it’s not above freezing all year round.  But there is however a winter wonderland section opened for a few months with sledding hills, ice skating, and other fun things, but of course it was ironically too warm for any of that anymore also.  But there were only about 4,000 people there making for some awesome-ly fast lines.  Now my family basically raised me on Disneyland.  Living only a day’s drive away, we made yearly pilgrimages.  I have many a story, many a picture, and MANY a memory.  Later when I moved down South for school, I had an annual pass for four of the five years I was there, and also worked there for about 8 months.  So you could say I was a little excited.  Of course Suzan, Rogier, and Fien had a blast as well, but I’m pretty sure they thought I was a little crazy in my eagerness to go.

The park itself is really cool.  It was built 3 years before Disneyland and it is said that Old Walt got many of his ideas from it.  Whose ideas they were first, I cannot tell you, but I can tell you that there is a lot of overlap.  But the Dutch like to push the envelope.  Here are some examples…

Instead of Mickey and Minnie greeting you…

These guys do…

Instead of a castle…

You have this entirely wooden construction…

Instead of enjoying a wonderful tea party with the Mad Hatter and March Hare…

You get boiled alive by cannibals…

Instead of Princesses wandering around taking pictures…

You have storybook characters…

(no photo available because, like most two year olds, Fien was scared to Death of all of them)

Instead of the Matterhorn…

You have an actual bobsled run that shoots you down a tube with no track keeping you from going over the side and falling to your death…

Instead of Ariel…

You have the hobag little mermaid who lost her seashells…

Instead of King Arthur’s carousel…

You have one of the fastest, crazyist, merry-go-rounds I’ve ever ridden…

Instead of Tomorrowland, Fantasyland, Adventureland, Frontierland, (and others I know),

You have Ruigrijk (Adventure Realm), Reizenrijk (Travel Realm), Marerijk (Fairy Realm), and Anderrijk (Alternative Realm.)

And my favorite – Instead of “Small World” with its embrace of all cultures (and stereotypes)…

You have “Carnaval Festival” with its embrace of all stereotypes (and cultures)…

 

 

Of course they did have some attractions that were just their own.  Being in Holland, they had to have something with “De Vliegende Hollander” (or The Flying Dutchman).  Not only did they have a ride, but they had a living statue…

They also had a fairytale garden where you walked through and saw animatronics reenactments of all the fairy tales (all wearing wooden shoes of course)…

 

  

  

 

And no trip to an amusement park would be complete without snacks, so of course it’s only fitting that we would stop for the epitome of Dutch snacks – poffertjes – mini pancakes with butter and powdered sugar…so lekker!!!

It was a wonderful day.  And I think the biggest similarity between Efteling and Disneyland, is the excitement I felt the entire day, and the pleased sigh as I got home and snuggled into bed.

 

Word of the Day: sprookje - fairy tale

What I think of the Hollish

I decided to write this after reading my last comments.  One of which is anonymous.  But it really could only have been written by one person – my brother.  Now if you readers are like I think you are, you endlessly scour not only every blog post, but all pictures, posted links, and subsequent comments.  And I love you for that...or maybe it's just my mother.  But you’re probably wondering what the last comment was all about.  See it here.  Or I could just tell you…

It says “its hollish guy jeez” referring to my mention of the Dutch boy that I don’t have to marry now that I have my residence visa.  And I can’t not let you in on a little inside joke right?  So here’s the story…

I was in the car with my mom, David, and Nina, on one of the painfully long car rides that had resulted when all three of us lived under the same roof that summer for the first time in five years.  How painful and or long was it you ask?  We weren’t even out of the housing complex yet…and I had already decided on both adjectives.  But I digress…

My mom and I were talking about if I ended up staying there...I think...I don't really remember the pre-conversation.  But you see Mags was staying there.  And you never know, I could potentially meet the love of my life, and get married, and have average height babies (my shortness would even out his tallness.)  To which David poked his head in between the driver and passenger seats and said “Yea you can meet a nice Hollish boy.”  It is at this point that I should interrupt my story to tell you he was not joking.  He will tell you he was…he is a liar.  It was also at that point in the story that the entire car went silent.  Even my sister.  And let’s be honest, a lot of things go over her head.  In fact I think all of us were surprised those words didn’t come out of her mouth.  But even more surprising were the words that did come out of her mouth “You realize it’s ‘Dutch’ right?”  Proceed with laughing from the rest of us.

So that’s the story.  And now I’m always calling things Hollish instead of Dutch.  Which I really need to watch because I’ll end up saying it in front of someone who doesn’t know I’m joking or doesn’t read my blog and they’ll think I’m just as stupid as my brother was that day (kidding Dave…love you!)

But now that I’m back from my travels where German (albeit three different types) were spoken in three of the four countries, I have news for my bro-sif.  In German, Dutch...is ‘Hollandisch’ or ‘Nederlandisch.’  So there you go.

Also in writing this blog, I checked out Urban Dictionary.  And allow me to tell you what I’ve found.  Keep in mind, Urban Dictionary is written by anyone who wants to submit a definition.  In fact Stephen Colbert got his viewers to submit pages upon pages of entries turning “Canada’s History” into a sex act.  True story.  But anyway, here’s what UD had to say:

1. A term used to refer to the language and the people from The Netherlands; it is considered more accurate than "Dutch" because it doesn't conflict with the German (and Hollish) word for the German language: Deutsch.

2. The nationality of someone from holland or the netherlands

and last, but certainly not least...

3. Someone, (especially female) from Holland (aka Denmark)

David...you can redeem yourself if you can tell me what's wrong with the above definition.

Word of the Day: Nederlandse – Dutch (in Dutch)

See you next October!

I GOT MY VISA!!
As you may or may not know, applying for a visa in EU is a little...interesting.  To sum up, you're not allowed to be in the EU for more than 3 months without a visa, but you don't find out the status of your visa until about 5 months into your stay.  So really, you could just pay 300 Euros to stay in the country longer.  Just saying.
I was fairly sure I was going to get my residence permit.  There was nothing on my application that was out of place.  And I had written proof that my night involving a pimp offering body shots of coke and a large black woman named Juanita would have no affect on my application status.  Or maybe I just had forgotten to mention that. :-D
I got my letter a couple days ago.  But it was in Dutch...and I couldn't read it.  And my family wasn't home.  And it was really hard to type a five page letter into google translator.  So I had no idea.  At all.  It was a little weird.
But long story short...I got it.  And I'm here.  And I'm so incredibly happy.  And I didn't even have to marry a hot dutch guy.
The end.
See you October 28th.

 

Word of the Day: burger - citizen