It’s that time of the year...Girl Scout Cookie Time...
Girl Scouts is not big in the Netherlands. At all. I never see it. And they certainly don’t have cookies. Which is really too bad. And by too bad, I mean the most devastating piece of news I have discovered since arriving. I WANT COOKIES!!! SEND ME THEM! Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, Trefoils...Any and ALL!!
For eleven years I stood outside Albertson’s (or Lucky’s at one point), Safeways, banks, Walmarts, etc. peddling the goods that can only be described as the-most-delicious-things-on Earth-and-if-you-haven’t-broken-your-New-Year’s-diet-resolution-already-you-are-a-gonner-and-have-no-shot-of-making-it-till-April.
And then for four years after that I peddled for my sister. I look forward to being back in the states, having no one personally tied to me, and being able to buy a box from every troop I see. In fact the older, the more I’ll buy. Because when you don’t have the cute factor anymore, no one pays attention. And then you go home and cry and open up one of the boxes you didn’t sell and eat the whole thing.
Also if you have a good day, you go home and celebrate by opening up one of the boxes and eating the whole thing. Also if you’re having people over you open up one of the boxes and eat the whole thing (collectively of course.) Also if it’s a Tuesday (or any of the subsequent six days) you open up a box and eat all of them.
Ok so my point is, everyone loves Girl Scout cookies. Well you’d think. Because whenever I think that everyone loves them I think of this dialogue. Now keep in mind I was a bright eyed, ready to take on the world, third grader at the time, standing by myself in my little brown vest in front of Safeway eager to get enough boxes sold for the coveted “sweatshirt” (180 boxes.) And I was doing fairly well. My mom was very good about letting me do the talking and only helping with change verification and table display restocking. Then this little exchange happened…
Me: Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?
Woman: (walking out of store) I don’t have any cash.
Me: We take checks.
Woman: (continuing her walking) I don’t like chocolate.
Me: We have ones without chocolate.
Woman: I’m on a diet.
Me: We have new reduced fat ones this year.
Woman: I don’t--
My Mom: WHY DON’T YOU JUST SAY YOU DON’T EAT AND KEEP WALKING!?!?!?
True story. And she’s going to hate me for posting that.
Some more fond memories:
-My first taste of frozen Thin Mints…oh man.
-The discovery that I not only liked coconut, but when combined with caramel and chocolate, there’s an orgasm in your mouth.
-Lynee and I standing outside making up a song complete with dance creatively entitled “Would You Like to Buy Some Girl Scout Cookies”
-The invention of cell phones causing uninterested people to pretend to have conversations in order to avoid you, but then they rang while they were supposedly already on them.
-Loading up my wagon and walking around the neighborhood ringing doorbell after doorbell.
-Cookie conventions - like comic con but for even bigger nerds.
-The selling of nuts and the constant asking of “When do cookies come out?”
-Bringing a bag of about 15 boxes to school every day and selling out before lunch.
-Selling at UCI for my sister and becoming the most popular girl in the dorms for a month.
Word of the day: koekjes – well gee, that’s a hard one…cookies.