Now you may be asking, why this sudden self hatred Libby? Well let me tell you. I lost something. I lost something very VERY valuable…a naked Barbie with jankie hair. That’s right. She is somewhere outside getting hypothermia as we speak only to be discovered thousands of years later by researchers and de-thawed and revered as the perfect image of a 21st century woman…all 39"/19"/33" dimensions of her. Apparently this Barbie had sentimental value…which is why it was at the bottom of a toy box naked and with f-ed up hair. This being the situation and looking back now, I realize there are a couple things I now regret…
1. I regret allowing Fien to play with the Barbie…at all…ever. How could I have been so stupid as to let her play with a doll from her toybox?
2. I regret not being able to spot the difference between a sentimentally important Barbie and something that was high on a shelf out of harm’s way. Should have known.
3. I regret that my mother and father forced me to keep my nice Barbies in their boxes where they were not to be played with. Stupid oppressive childhood.
4. I regret not allowing Fien to take Barbie outside in her expensive wicker doll stroller that would bend and warp with any amount of moisture (including snow). You know if I had just let her do that, Barbie would have been nice and warm in there, not freezing her lack of privates off in some snow heap.
5. I regret we only walked to the end of the street and back. I would much rather have had three or four blocks in which to search…makes it feel like more of a lost cause.
6. I regret swinging Fien out of the way of a stray incoming snowball. I think this is when we lost it. But had I just let her get pelted, Barbie would be safe right now.
7. I regret wondering aloud where Barbie went once we got in the house. Because it probably would have gone unnoticed forever if I hadn’t.
8. I regret sinking to feeling like I was Fien’s age after getting reprimanded for losing the doll. I should have stayed at least in my twenties.
9. I regret that I opened a wine bottle on Tuesday because now if I don’t drink it, it will just go bad…
10. I regret that sarcasm doesn’t really translate onto written word.
I know…bad nanny.
On that note…look at this picture I found…and look at the name!!!
*note: this entire entry is COMPLETELY sarcastic. It really was my fault that we lost the Barbie and I take full responsibility. Please don't think I'm actually angry about this (Grammy and Mom.)
Word of the Day: dood door sneeuw - death by snow